For the Love (Or, Why Taylor Swift and Singleness Don't Work)

I’m 21. All of my friends are getting engaged or girlfriends or having babies or ring shopping or flirting or loving or hugging or kissing. They all are. The world of young-20-somethings is in a mad dash towards the finish line that is marriage, and us single people are praying for God to make us content in our singleness while listening to Taylor Swift. We’re pathetic.

I get on Facebook and one of two things appears on my newsfeed: (1) Oh look! My friends have fallen in love and are getting married/dating/having babies; (2) Look at that! My single friend has posted an astoundingly intriguing article about what girls/guys look for in a relationship. The picture has two fashion-forward people holding hands. Looks like a great read!

Honestly. If I have to read another article from a girl telling me what kind of guy she wants to marry someday or a guy telling girls how to embrace the beauty of singleness, I think I’ll choke on the brain cells I’m losing. I get the fact that we all want to be in love. Man, I want to be in love SO bad right now. And I don’t even want it for the sex. I want it for the companionship, the little looks from across the room, the hand-holding.

But that doesn’t mean I need to fall in love with love. That’s a dangerous game. That’s like falling in love with the mountains and not living there. We become so preoccupied wanting to be in the mountains that we forget to look around at the beautiful beach/valley/archipelago we live on.

Reading that stuff on Facebook just leaves us with a wishful ache in our gut; we hug our pillow a bit tighter each night in memorandum of the death that is our singleness. The other side of the bed is warm from the tears we cry wishing our pillows could talk to us.

Listening to Taylor Swift and reading sappy articles on Facebook doesn’t make us fall in love with a person. It makes us fall in love with an idea.

So if you want my dating advice (I mean, everyone seems to be getting a post viral about Christian dating these days), here it is: ask a girl out; be interested in a guy. Don’t do it too soon. Don’t wait too long.

Until then, keep an eye out for a special someone, be honest with God in your prayer life, read Paul’s exhortation to the singles (1 Corinthians 7), observe God-fearing married people, and take yourself lightly.

Mentor someone younger, memorize a section of the Bible, pick up roller-derby, write a letter every day, learn to canoe, become the fastest shoe-tier in the history of shoe-tiers, write some stories, host Foosball tournaments, challenge people in Wikipedia races, run a marathon, paint a marble to look like the world and put it in an oyster just to be punny.

Be loving. Be patient. Be kind.

Be patient.

But for the love of all things lovely, don’t expect contentedness in singleness while listening to Taylor Swift and reading about other people’s relationships.