Why My Paranoia with Perfection Needs to End

 

We’re taught we have to be perfect to accomplish success.

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Having this website, I worry about writing the perfect things, using the perfect words, and sharing the perfect memories. I didn’t want anyone to be let down when they read it; I didn’t want anyone to feel like what I am saying was wrong or a waste of time.

Under this obsession with false perfection, like a rock eroding under raindrops, I’ve found myself losing my voice; trying to remain in the middle. I don’t want to seem too happy. I don’t want to seem too sad. Not too liberal. Not too conservative. Too funny or too serious. And the list goes on and on.

The edges and grooves that make my rock—my voice—unique are being worn down and smoothed over by this oppressive paranoia with perfection.

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So I’ve decided to not be soft in my writing. I’ve decided to write what I believe, not just what I think perfection wants to hear.

And I’ve realized two central questions I want to ask myself: Does what I’m saying and writing glorify God? am I being true to my experience?

The Two Writing Questions:
1. Does what I’m saying and writing glorify God?
2. Am I being true to my experience?

I want to answer these questions in the affirmative; independent of the pressures of sounding perfect. Because the reality is that Perfection died on a cross two thousand years ago for the imperfect. I'm being made perfect, to be sure, but in this life I will always be imperfect. And that is okay.

This is a space of redemption and a space of words which shape an authentic experience. 

And in order to create this space, I must be true to my experiences and myself. I must be unapologetic about my beliefs while showing grace to others’.

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My experience is my own. Your experience is your own. So own it. Live into it. Treat others how you would like to be treated but don't feel like you need to be fake in your perfection.

I hope to do the same.