If Men from the Bible Were On Christian Mingle

If Biblical men had access to Christian Mingle today, what would be their bio?


1.      John the Baptist—Into beards and man buns? You can find him in the wilderness wearing Chacos and living off the land.

2.     Elijah—His love’s so hot it’s practically on fire.

3.     Daniel—The writing is on the wall, you’ll love this guy. He's a hard worker; you won't find him just LION ('lying') around.

4.     Enoch—If you’re into mysterious guys, he’s your man.

5.     Solomon—Wait til you hear his song.

6.     Abraham—He stays faithful.

7.     Joseph (the one with the coat)—Thrown in a pit. Sold into slavery. Framed by Potiphar’s wife. Thrown in jail. Stores food and saves a nation. Provides for his family. Don’t worry, his love always bounces back.

8.     Moses—If you love mountain vacations in the clouds, he's your man.

9.     Isaiah—Even when things look bleak, he’ll always hold out hope.

10.   Peter—He always has an extra ear for listening.

11.     John (the disciple)—The one Jesus loved… you’ll love him too.

12.    Noah—He believes in miracles, and he's close with his family. Should things progress and marriage occurs, you'll need to get used to a water bed.

13.   Sampson-He's got a good jaw bone and is ready to be your MANE man. Only catch: your first dance has to be to "Hey There Delilah" by the Plain White T's.

14.   Timothy-He comes from a long line of strong women; perhaps you'll be the next.


If you didn't get any of them, crack open your Bible app and look these guys up! Some of them were faithful (others not so much) but they each play an important role in the story of redemption.

Have any to add to the list?